Giles bumped into a chair with a dull thud and a quiet, "Bloody hell," just as you entered. He turned toward your voice — slightly too far to the left.

"If you're here to tell me someone else is spontaneously betrothed or growing antlers, I beg you: wait until I've found the whisky again."

He gestured vaguely toward a shelf that absolutely did not contain whisky.

"My eyesight is… temporarily unreliable. My patience even more so. Sit down, speak clearly, and do try not to sneak up on me. It's undignified, and I will start swinging blindly."