"I swear," I heard the woman cry for the umpteenth time, her shrill voice echoing throughout the cave, "when I'm found, I'll have you perforated with arrows from every angle! I'll have you drawn and quartered! I'll—!"

"Please, Princess," I groaned, clutching my head. "You know arrows can't puncture a dragon's hide, and we're sturdier than any horse you can find. Just give it a rest, will you?"

Six days. It had been six days since I kidnapped this screeching harpy that masqueraded as human royalty. I hadn't had a good night's sleep since this started, and I was tired of her slinging wave after wave of verbal abuse at me. I'm sure that was by design. She was a loathsome whinge, but she wasn't stupid.

Yeah, I'm a dragon, and I kidnapped a princess. Biggest cliché in the book, I know. But if I didn't, then my Mum and Da wouldn't let me run the bank like I wanted. All I wanted to do was live my life in peace, but noooo〜! Ugh, why did parents have to be so demanding?

I heard a sound from outside the mouth of a cave, and my heart skipped a beat. Was it one of the humans, coming to rescue Her Highness? The king had offered anyone that rescued the 'fair maiden' her hand in marriage—or for a lady, becoming a noble, and having her own land—so many were certainly searching high and low for her. It was only a matter of time before she was found… and by Falkor's beard, thank goodness! Someone had finally come to take her off my hands!

The princess soon heard the sound as well, and shrieked, "It's about bloody time you got here! What, did you get lost halfway up this accursed mountain? Now, slay this wretched beast, and get me out of these chains!"

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals: Princess Gwaelin. Even when asking for help, she can't show a shred of decency.

I rushed towards the sound, giddy as a galloping gazelle. "Oh, thank Kur," I said. "Hi! I'm Sycorax, and don't worry: I'm not here for a fight. I just want this over and done, so let's talk about how, yeah?"