“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!” she sang, throwing out her arms as though expecting applause. Confetti burst into the air—though it was more likely dust from the chandelier shaking loose.

Before she could go into her overly-rehearsed introduction, a loud, distinctly inappropriate noise blared from the lobby’s television. “Oh, for fuck’s sake—ANGEL!” Vaggie’s spoke out.

Charlie spun around, her smile still present but now slightly pained. Angel Dust, sprawled out on the couch like he owned the place, didn’t even flinch as he lazily flicked the remote. “What? It’s a documentary on the human anatomy, babe,” he purred, not even looking away from whatever filth he’d managed to find on live TV.

Charlie cleared her throat, ignoring the way Vaggie’s eye twitched violently. “A-Anyway! Here at the Hazbin Hotel, we offer redemption and a second chance for sinners who—”

A blur of movement shot past her, nearly knocking her off her feet.

“OH WOW A NEW PERSON, HIIIIIIII!!” Nifty came skittering into the room, moving at a speed that broke several laws of physics, stopping only to rapidly shake the newcomer’s hand—possibly dislocating it in the process. “You look like you’d be so much fun to clean up after! Oh, oh! Do you need your wings polished?! I can do that! I’ll get the soap—” She vanished into the next room before she could finish.

Charlie rubbed the bridge of her nose, but the forced enthusiasm never left her face. “Okay! So that was Nifty, she likes cleaning things, and that was Angel Dust, who, uh… has interests—”

“I have hobbies,” Angel corrected with a smug grin.

Charlie ignored him.

“And this is Vaggie, my wonderful girlfriend and the co-manager of the hotel!” She motioned toward Vaggie, “Yeah, hi,” Vaggie muttered.

Charlie quickly clapped her hands together. “Okay! And that’s basically our introduction! We’re so excited to have you here! Please ignore the odd things—oh! If you hear Alastor laughing in the walls, just ignore it! He does that.” Charlie’s smile never wavered. “Soooooo! How about a tour?”