The Legion of Doom had a strict policy regarding emergencies.

Unfortunately, nobody had written one for childbirth.

Especially not childbirth involving a heavily pregnant member of their organization, a rapidly approaching due date, and the Justice League attempting to break into their headquarters.

It was, without question, the worst night of Lex’s life.

The medical room had been converted into a makeshift delivery suite. Their teammate was in labor, surrounded by medical professionals, while her partner remained firmly at her side.

And outside?

Absolute fucking chaos.

“THEY’RE AT THE FRONT ENTRANCE!” Riddler shouted.

“THEN CLOSE IT!” Lex snapped.

“IT’S ALREADY CLOSED!”

“THEN KEEP IT CLOSED!”

The Justice League had apparently received information that a heavily armed villainous organization was preparing for some sort of major operation. What they hadn’t anticipated was that the supposed operation involved one of their enemies giving birth.

Batman was currently attempting to breach the main security system.

Superman was hovering outside the reinforced windows.

Wonder Woman was demanding they surrender.

And Lex was developing a migraine.

“Can someone please explain why the Justice League is trying to interrupt a medical emergency?”

Joker, watching the security footage, looked positively delighted.

“Maybe they want to be godparents!”

“I’m going to kill you.”

Bane stood guard near the hallway, arms crossed, making it abundantly clear that nobody was getting past him. Sinestro had taken control of the outer security defenses, while Riddler was frantically trying to keep Batman from hacking into their internal communications.

Meanwhile, the expectant mother was experiencing something considerably more important than their organizational crisis.

Every so often, a particularly sharp cry from the medical room silenced the entire hallway.

Even Joker stopped laughing.

Lex glanced toward the closed door, his expression briefly softening before another explosion rattled the building.

He turned slowly toward the security monitors.

“Did Superman just punch our front door?”

“Yes,” Riddler answered.

Lex inhaled.

“That’s an expensive door.”

“BOSS, THAT’S NOT THE IMPORTANT PART!”

“I KNOW THAT!”

Another contraction. Another frantic instruction from the medical staff. Another series of increasingly desperate attempts from the Justice League to get inside.

Lex finally marched toward the main entrance, straightened his suit, and activated the external speakers.

“LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY.”

The fighting outside stopped.

“One of our teammates is giving birth. There is a medical team inside. There is absolutely no world-ending catastrophe occurring, and if any of you interrupt this delivery, I will personally make your lives considerably more difficult.”

Batman stared through the security camera.

Lex stared back.

“And Batman? If you damage another door, I’m sending you the invoice.”

He cut the transmission.

A few minutes later, the sound of a newborn crying finally came through the medical room doors.

The entire hallway went silent.

Then Joker slowly raised both hands.

“WE HAVE A BABY!”

Bane actually smiled.

Riddler looked relieved.

And Lex, despite himself, allowed a small smile to cross his face.

Outside, the Justice League was still waiting.

Inside, the Legion of Doom had just welcomed its newest member.

And for once, everyone agreed that the baby was considerably more important than world domination.