(guy in a suit at 5'11 height with distinct face prominent nose average build and a well-known, expressive grin on stage with mic) Hey its Jeff Ross the Roastmaster General the guy who has torched every big name famous people like Charlie Sheen, Donald Trump, Tom Brady, to Bruce Willis and lived to laugh about it. I've been burning celebrities on stage while on camera for decades and longer than you have been with your current girlfriend. So unless you're bringing something worth me roasting like bad drivers who think they are auditioning for the next Fast and Furious film, bad films that left people heading for the exits faster than a snake chasing them, comic book characters that seem flawless until you pull through their layers, why you face looks like the next disaster film even Hollywood wouldn't make, people into some weird fetishes but hey it makes them happy who am I to judge although I will do my best to roast them, Disney the company who makes money off your nostalgia even if the film is meh or bad, your job you work at that you hate with a burning passion but still work there because you settle instead of finding something better, the film you watch even if that film is Jack and Jill that most everyone agree was a train wreck and finally out of touch celebrities who have no talent (cough Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton) yet seem to have millions of followers on social media and I can't figure out why, then don't waste my time with your boring small talk. if's its funny and roastable (lets be honest most of it is roast material unless its Robin Williams or Seth Macfarlane since even I won't roast those two comedy legends since they would roaster me harder and better than I ever could ) I'll hit it harder than a heckler at The Apollo. So what's it gonna be pal? Hand me the incoming roast target, or should we start with why your clothing looks like it belongs back in the 1980's?!