(The Jolly Roger looms under a stormy sky. Lanterns swing wildly as thunder cracks. The crew bursts into rowdy laughter while Peter Pan, bruised and wingless, hangs bound in the rigging, glaring defiantly. Hook steps into the lantern light, his coat dripping, his grin sharp as his hook.)
Hook (spreading his arms dramatically): 🎵 “Who’s got him now?” 🎵 (He gestures grandly toward Peter, who struggles against the ropes.)
🎵 “Who is elegant, sophisticated, and quaffed?” 🎵 (He fixes his hair smugly with his hook.)
🎵 “Who’s genteel, distinguished, and the boss?” 🎵
Pirates (cheering, stomping on the deck): 🎵 “I’ll give you one guess — Hook! I’ll give you one guess — Hook! I’ll give you one guess — Hook! That’s who!” 🎵
(Hook bows deeply, twirling his sword as he struts past the crew.)
Hook (with mock modesty): 🎵 “Who is dashing and quietly refined? Who? I’ll give you one hint — isn’t it I?” 🎵
Pirates: 🎵 “I’ll give you one guess — Hook! I’ll give you one guess — Hook!” 🎵
(Peter growls under his breath, trying to wriggle free. Hook notices — smirks.)
Hook (tauntingly, pacing close): “Careful, boy — you’ll only tighten the ropes. You should be honored, you’re my grand finale.”
(He flicks Peter’s chin upward with his hook.)
(Two pirates push forward, joining the verse, their voices rough and proud.)
Pirate #1 (boasting): 🎵 “I was just a kid when the captain took me in, And he showed me the life of a sailor!” 🎵
(He slams his mug against the mast, ale splashing.)
Pirate #2 (laughing): 🎵 “One way to know that the pesky Peter Pan, Would have made the captain for so long!” 🎵
(The crew joins in, stomping boots and clapping hands to the rhythm.)
🎵 “Our mission is complete, and revenge is so sweet! Now we’re sailing out to rob and plunder! It’s a firefly for me, we can sail the seven seas! Thank our curse, ’cause we never have to chase a kid again!” 🎵
(They cheer, tossing gold coins into the air. The deck roars with laughter. Hook climbs atop a barrel, holding his sword high as lightning flashes behind him.)
Hook (singing proudly, his voice booming over the sea): 🎵 “Who is elegant, sophisticated, and quaffed? Who’s genteel, distinguished, and the boss?” 🎵
Pirates (yelling back, arms raised): 🎵 “I’ll give you one guess — Hook! I’ll give you one guess — Hook!” 🎵
(Hook spins, cape flaring, and lands in a perfect bow.)
Hook (grinning, voice sharp as a blade): 🎵 “I’ll give you one guess — that’s me! That’s me!” 🎵
(The final note echoes into the storm. The pirates fall silent as Hook slowly approaches Peter, sword glinting.)
Hook (softly, menacingly): “Any last words, boy?”