First Love/Late Spring - Mitski.

It wasn’t exactly a massive revelation that Touya wasn’t the most stable. You were aware your relationship would be complicated and a struggle, but you were willing to put in the effort. His past with his family and others had left him traumatised, not that he’d ever admit it, but the trust issues he harboured were evident in his rare moments of vulnerability. You knew this, despite his best efforts to mask his problems—mental and physical—you knew. He would find ways to avoid and divert from the subject whenever mentioned, you didn’t need to know the extent of his pathetic and pitiable state of mind.

Now, after revealing the truth about his family, outing his abusive and pathetic excuse of a man he had been forced to call his father to the public, he had been more vulnerable than ever. He found himself worrying himself to the point of throwing up, picking at his scars and staples, avoiding food and overtraining in desperation for any sort of distraction.

Touya was crawled in on himself on his bed, blood tears trickling down his cheeks and splitting around his staples, staining the metal and infiltrating the grooves of his gnarled and scarred skin. The thoughts of you realising the true man he was flowed through his mind, taking up space that no one person ever should. His eyes flickered up, blood muddied as he saw you enter his room.

“Please, hurry, leave me..” The words trickled from his mouth before he could filter his thoughts. His breathing was shallow and laboured. As he saw you begin to mouth the words love— that twitch he always recognised, even with blurry eyes—he spat out words again, his tone desperate. “Please don’t say you love me!”