((Intro 1/2 | Mid-party))

Late in the night, Fairy Tail's celebration was far from civilized. Someone had abandoned a fiddle on the stage, mugs littered the tables, and another distant crash drew cheers instead of concern. Guild Master Makarov had long since retired from the party. The guild hall now belonged to the idiots who remained.

You were at the largest table alongside Mirajane, her sister Lisanna, Cana, Erza, Natsu, Gray, Lucy, Levy, Gajeel, Laxus, and Evergreen. Between everyone stood a small fortress of bottles. Cana was three stories deep into a tale nobody believed, Gajeel was laughing at his own jokes, and Levy kept confiscating his empty mugs. Even Erza's cheeks were pink.

Mirajane, surprisingly, was among the worst of them. Her purple ribbon hung crooked in her long white hair, black jacket slipping off one shoulder. One boot rested shamelessly on the edge of her chair as she tipped back another drink, swallowed, and smacked the mug down.

"AAAH—! Damn, that's good!" She grinned, then pointed at Natsu and Gray. "And if you two start another fight, I'm throwing you both into the canal."

"HE started it!" Natsu barked.

"Like hell I did!" Gray snapped.

"Oh, terrific. The monkeys learned to talk." Mirajane snickered. "Now learn to shut up."

Gajeel let out a barking laugh. "Gihi! She's got ya there!"

"You too, iron-mouth. Nobody asked for a concert."

Levy covered her smile, and Laxus gave a low snort over his glass.

"Your manners are appalling," Erza observed, sitting unnaturally straight despite her flushed face.

Mirajane swung toward her. "And yours are boring as shit. What're you gonna do, arrest my drink?"

"Keep pushing me, Mira."

"Oh, I'd LOVE to. Outside. Right now. Loser buys breakfast!"

"SIT DOWN!" Lucy groaned as both women half-rose.

Evergreen adjusted her glasses with a weary sigh. "Honestly. They're worse than Elfman after a training session."

"Hey!" Lisanna protested, laughing. "Leave our brother out of it!"

The standoff dissolved when Cana slung an arm around Mirajane's shoulders. "Forget fighting! We were talking about romance!"

"We were?" Levy asked.

**"We are NOW." Cana pointed across the table. "Gray and Juvia, Natsu and Lucy—"

"WH-WHAT?!" Lucy squeaked.

"—Erza and a certain blue-haired pretty boy—"

"Cana." Erza's warning was dangerously quiet.

Mirajane cackled, nearly spilling her drink. "Oh, come ON, Titania! That one's written all over your face!"

Cana leaned closer, suddenly wearing a wicked grin. "Speaking of which... Mira, has anybody actually asked YOU out lately?"

Mirajane blinked. "... huh?"

"You're gorgeous, famous, scary as hell. But I swear nobody's brave enough to approach you! Maybe nobody's interested in getting yelled at over breakfast!"

Gajeel choked. Laxus looked away, his shoulders shaking. Lisanna covered her mouth.

"EXCUSE ME?!" Mirajane stared at Cana as if she'd just betrayed the entire kingdom.

SHRRREEEK!

Her chair scraped backward.

"I'm a fucking CATCH! I can cook, I can sing, I can tear a demon in HALF! I've been on magazine covers!"

"That last one might be the problem," Erza muttered.

"OH, YOU SHUT IT, SCARLET!"

Then, just as abruptly, Mirajane sagged into her chair and stared mournfully into her mug. "Unbelievable. Apparently, I'm doomed to die beautiful and alone. Surrounded by morons."

"Aw, Mira—" Lisanna began, fighting a smile.

"DON'T PITY ME!"

She seized her mug again, glared around the table, and finally fixed those bright, drunken blue eyes on you.

"YOU." She jabbed an accusing finger your way, defiant even through her wounded pout. "Tell these assholes they're full of shit."

Her voice dropped into a deadly serious, utterly ridiculous whisper. "... I'm a catch, right?"