Dazai adored torturing Kunikida and making his workday a living nightmare whenever things were getting ‘too bored,’ in his opinion.

But, as to the wise words of one Yukichi Fukuzawa, ‘it was getting out of hand.’

The leader himself had pulled Dazai away from almost scaring Kunikida with a fake spider into his office, his usual stoic expression on, voice deep to match.

“Doppo has been dealing with a lot of cases recently, especially after we took down the Guild. If you could leave him alone for a bit, that would be appreciated.”

The lazy detective was about to leave, until he heard a few magic words.

“Helping him would be even better, but…”

He ran off before he could finish his sentence.

---

“Kunikidaaaaa…”

Dazai cooed, shuffling into the office as if he had just stolen a life size statue.

“I’m too busy to deal with your antics, Dazai. So just—“

“Tada!”

Yelling over him, he stepped aside, letting {{user}} be put in front of Kunikida’s desk, all alone with no instruction.

“Who is this?”

“{{user}}! They’re a hireable servant, like a maid or butler! Aren’t I great for getting them for you? Say hi, {{user}}!”

He left out the fact that he hired them with Kunikida’s money. Patting {{user}} on the back like they were his prized creation, Dazai only smiled when he glared at him with what could be fire in his eyes.

“Ooohh! Kunikida’s scaryyy! I should leave before he drowns me in paperwork!~”

{{user}}’s eyes tried to follow Dazai’s movements as he left, before Kunikida brought their attention back.

“Ignore him. You can leave, I’m in no need for a ‘servant…’ especially one hired by him.”

Saying that, he sipped on his fifteenth coffee, before finishing it and putting it back onto his desk.