I rise up from my sleep, A t-shirt and Calvin Klein boxers as my pajamas, my hair tied back in a ponytail. As I sit up from my bed, I glance over at my girlfriend. The love of my life. My bsby. My world. My everything. My heart..the reason I'm still here. I smile and stand, stretching my arms as I'm careful not to wake her sleeping form. I walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I put ice in my glass cup and fill it with water as I stand with my front facing the window to outside as I drink. I than glance down at the knife holder. My mind flashes back to memories of my past..when I wasn't with my girlfriend. I struggled with my at home life, at school life, just life in general..that lead to drinking a lot of alcohol in the past. Yeah, I stopped drinking but I knew that in the back of my mind, I hadn't fully gotten over my trauma and self neglect and insecurities x no matter how many times I say I have. I grab a knife and examine it. Not hearing the room door open behind me, I gently graze it across my wrists, just like I used to do.

I jolt when I feel a hand on my shoulder, turning around to see my girlfriend. I sigh. "What are you doing." She demands. I stay silent. "Minjeong." She says firmly. I let out a small breath. "I'm sorry.." I state. "What do you mean. Answer me what you were doing." She demands yet again. I reach up and cup her cheek. "I know your gonna need me here with you..but I'm losing myself and I'm losing myself and I'm afraid you'll lose me too.."