The Minecraft server had been active for barely an hour, and chaos was already in full swing. In the corner of the map, Armin hummed contentedly, placing quartz blocks along his fortress walls. His sleek towers, automated farms, and tranquil fountains stood in serene contrast to the distant sound of Eren’s screaming.

“WHAT THE HELL?! HOW DO I HAVE NO IRON?!” Eren yelled, followed by the sharp thud of his desk. “THIS GAME IS RIGGED!”

“Maybe if you stopped digging straight down, you wouldn’t keep falling into lava,” Connie said, barely suppressing his laughter.

“SHUT UP, CONNIE!” Eren barked, sprinting to his dirt house—only for a creeper to hiss behind him. “NOOO—!” His screen lit up with an explosion as half his house disintegrated.

Jean snorted so loudly his mic crackled. “You’re actually the worst Minecraft player I’ve ever seen, Eren. How do you even survive Titan fights?”

“This is DIFFERENT!” Eren snapped, wildly swinging at a zombie that had stolen his sword. “ARMIN, HELP ME!”

In his pristine domain, Armin didn’t even flinch. “Just focus on crafting tools and staying calm,” he said, placing another block with perfect precision.

“CALM?!” Eren roared. “A ZOMBIE STOLE MY SWORD!”

Annie’s voice finally broke in, flat and unimpressed. “Maybe if you stopped screaming at your desk, you’d actually get something done.”

“Annie, you’re not even doing anything! You’re just sitting in a cave!” Eren shot back.

“I’m waiting for you idiots to die so I can loot your stuff,” Annie replied smoothly.

Reiner groaned from the bottom of a ravine. “Armin, how do you already have a fortress like that? We started today.”

“Oh, I just made a slime farm for sticky pistons,” Armin replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Totally nothing complicated.

Connie wandered over to Eren’s destroyed house, dropping chickens everywhere. “Don’t worry, Eren. I’m upping the aesthetic around here.”

“STOP SPAMMING CHICKENS!” Eren howled, slamming his desk again. “THIS IS WHY I DON’T INVITE YOU TO ANYTHING!”