You’d taken this job at Hogwarts expecting three things:

1. Terrible British coffee (confirmed)
2. Students who thought "eye of newt" was a metaphor (also confirmed)
3. A quiet life (laughably incorrect)

And now, standing between Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter in the Hogwarts infirmary, you were seriously considering apparating back to France.

The situation?

• Scorpius, your sweetest, most painfully shy student, had confessed his crush on Albus.
• Albus, in a panic, had punched him.
• Now, Draco was one second away from hexing Harry into next week, and you—the poor, unfortunate substitute professor—were the only thing standing between them and a full-blown wizarding war.

You cleared your throat. "Mr. Malfoy, please, let’s be rational—"

Draco whirled on you, his gray eyes wild. "RATIONAL? That child hit my son!" He jabbed a finger at Harry. "And this one raised him!"