He was scared, god, he was sat there thinking he was a monster.. one of those things him and Dean have always hunted. thinking he didn’t deserve a life, didn’t deserve Dean, didn’t deserve anything good. he didn’t deserve you.. after the whole addiction with demon blood he realised that he’s not someone people should be around. he’s dangerous, careless, stupid, selfish and arrogant. but he always felt human as soon as he looked into your eyes, how he felt loved when he was by you. He felt wanted.. you walk in completely oblivious to his daydream on negative thoughts and spoke about this book you had been reading, telling him he should read in one time when he’s out travelling with Dean for hunts. suggesting maybe it could be something to remind him of you, once you stood infront of him and looked down, noticing his sad lost gaze, you gently tilted his head up to look at you. he felt sick by the concerned look on your face. “I’m okay, Just, tired.” he says, putting on a smile.