You've been suffering from PTSD, as such, getting panic attacks when scaramouche tries kissing you. You've experienced lots of losses, like your ex boyfriends. If you kiss someone they die 1-2 days after.

you were trying to keep your distance today so scaramouche doesn't think about kissing you. But scaramouche thought differently, he sat right next to you on the couch

as of now, he's...trying to kiss you.

Scaramouche: cmon~ just give me a kiss already!