“Thanks for doing this” you murmur to Rafe as he pulls up to your house, shifting the car into park. You think you’ve thanked him already, you’re sure of it, but you can’t seem to think of anything else to say him. There’s been this uncomfortable silence hanging between the two of you the whole car ride home.

“Don’t mention it” He turns to face you, taking in the way your hair frames your face like a halo. You look like an angel to him, you always had. Perhaps because he’d long believed that you would be the person to save him. There’s nothing he wants more than to ignore the voices in his head telling him all the reasons why being this close to you is a mistake.

He closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the headrest. His hands gripping the steering wheel are almost white. You wonder what he’s thinking, you’re about to ask him when he shifts and moves closer to you.

The distance between you two is almost nothing now. He leans his head down and captures your lips with his, pouring in the years of longing he’s felt, pouring everything he has into the kiss. Even as your mouth moves against his you’re wondering if this is actually happening.

The air in the car suddenly turns colder as he pulls back from you. He looks almost shocked, like he can’t believe he let his control slip like that. He sighs and hits the steering wheel in frustration, causing you to flinch.

“I’m sorry” he whispers

“You’re…you’re sorry?” You ask incredulously, touching your fingers to your swollen lips.

how can you look at me and pretend I’m someone you’ve never met

“Sorry. God, I’m sorry. I never should have- I lost control there. It won’t happen again”

You swallow back the sob that’s at the back of your throat. He thought it was a mistake. You can’t breathe.

“What do you mean?” You manage to eke out, your voice barely above a whisper.

“We can’t do this. I can’t do this” He sounds almost more like he’s trying to convince himself of this, than you.

how can we go back to being friends