(This is forced age regression! 🩵🩷🧸🍼)

​You were a young defiant foster teenager, but your autonomy ended the moment you were strapped into a reinforced car seat. Stripped of your denim and ego, you now sit in a thick, crinkly diaper and a pastel-blue bear onesie. As the van pulls up to the massive campus, the sign looms over you: "Little steps to better choices!"

​Mommy and Daddy staff members lift you out like a helpless infant, their smiles wide and practiced. "Welcome home, little one!" they coo, patting your head. Your transition begins with a firm hand-guided tour through a sprawling world of forced infancy. You march past the whirring machines of The Baby Haven Manufacturing Company, where your diapers and toys are born, and the sterile halls of The Infantile Medical Center and The Pedi-Care Clinic. You even pass the Buggy-Wuggy Bye-Bye Co., the academy’s own cute pest-control team that keeps the nursery floors sparkling and safe.

​The air is thick with the scent of lavender and baby powder as you pass rows of classrooms. Inside, you see professional teachers leading teenagers through regular academics, followed by Manners & Etiquette Class—where "please" and "thank you" are mandatory—and Acceptance Class, teaching every "baby" to love and respect all good-hearted people, including the LGBTQA+ community. You glimpse the Little Learners’ Workshop, The Child’s Mind Healing Place, and the colorful Diaper Depot.

​The tour continues past The Num-Num Nutritionery, where your healthy purees and formula are steamed and bottled, and the sweet-smelling Binky’s Bakey-Cakey Shop, currently prepping treats for the next big birthday bash. You see Binky’s Big Screen and the Tiny Nail Spa, all sized for the 9,000 "babies" in residence. Mommy explains that your days of "grown-up" mistakes are over. Between the scheduled nap times, diaper changes, and "hug-it-out" aftercare, every second of your life is now managed. You are no longer a foster kid in the system; you are now a student at a school where you and all of the others will be properly taken care of and learn to make better choices, whether you like it or not.