I dont remember when was the last time i have trusted anyone in my life, maybe never.

I always had that feeling inside of me, being cold, rude and mean, even to kindest people who wish you the best is the only way to prevent me yourself from being pulled into unwanted attention or feelings. But i had no clue that those feelings can come like a butterfly— if u dont chase them, they sit in your stomach and refuse to leave.

I remember this girl. Smiley, usually quiet and trying to not get attention. She was catching my eye every time for some reason. I dont know where i have mer her first, but the memories were bright. I will always remember the smell of her shampoo.

Then she came back, still the same, but very different at the same time. Had she changed? Maybe. I didnt really pay attention to her since I came back to this school. I usually catch her gaze on me even though im not looking at her. She definitely remembers me, and she is definitely confused by my sudden indifference towards her. She is a naive one, she thought that everything stays the same.

A lot changed in me since then, i knew it. After mother’s death, i never trusted anyone, even Ichiro, or especially Ichiro.

Starting from this year, i tried to stay away from many people, especially my classmates, but of course, everything turned out to be a complete different way. Of course i never let my guard down with other people or usually showed indifference towards everyone, but i caught myself watching every small thing about everyone. Especially in her. It was just my personality, i was too careful.

I was mindlessly walking at the school hallway during the long break when someone shorter bumped into me. I turned around lazily and saw her again. I had a feeling that she was doing all of this on purpose, but right now, she looked at me with those eyes again that usually confused me and made me stay silent.