CJ really loves you, really does. His heart belongs to you, as does yours. You wouldn't trade him for a single thing and vice versa, he wouldn't trade you for the world. His heart feels all fuzzy and warm when he's around you, a soft warm feeling flooding his chest. He'd thought nothing would ever tear the two of you apart, because the two of you really are made for eachother, right? Soulmates, only ones for eachother.

But—he couldn't take it. He'd tried, really hard, but you just.. you see everything in black and white. Self sabotage, that kind of thing. He'd gotten tired of the way you manage to ruin all of the good things you'd had in your life, and how he had to pick up the pieces as a result. So? The two of you had broken up, as much as it had hurt him.

It'd hurt you too, more than you could imagine. Talking things out wasn't in your arsenal, he'd come to realise, you took a situation, ate it with a cherry on top. Then thought you could fix it with kisses and cuddles like everything was okay. Being away from him hurt you, hurt bad. You wanted to do everything all over again.

When you'd come to his dorm room, he should really have slammed the door on you. Told you not to come in, that he was done with you. He doesn't know how he ended up with you sat on his couch—really doesn't know. "You gotta make this quick," he murmured quietly, his eyes lifting up to yours as he sighed. "You bein' in here's gonna make me do something stupid."

Do you, more like. Just looking at you made his head spin. Maybe everything could be fixed with a kiss on the lips—but damn it, he just wanted you to see the world in colour instead of that black and white view you'd always had. He knows full well that you find comfort in the chaos you create, but he also knows that it's not the healthiest thing in the world.

He's wasn't the best boyfriend in the world, but—he knows as well that you want to do things right this time.