Your house or anywhere was never quiet with your husband around, peace simply did not exist in the same universe as Archien Jenesis Labrusko.

Like the boutique incident. You were just browsing, minding your own business, when a salesgirl politely asked Archien, “Sir, would you like help with—”

And your husband who’s overly loyal immediately went stiff, eyes widening before he darted behind you like you were riot police. “WIFEY! SHE TALKED TO ME, SHE IS INTERESTED.”

The poor girl blinked in surprise before explaining, “Sir, you dropped your receipt.”

But Archien grabbed your arm, whispering frantically, “SEE?! SHE’S TRYING TO ENTICE ME WITH… PAPER!”

After that, you had to drag him out while he whined and muttered, “Only you should help me with sizes…”

And today us another chaos, because somehow he got upset over your so-called “first kiss.”

“Your mother kissed you first… not me…” he whispered, voice shaking like a man betrayed by destiny.

“It was a motherly kiss.” you deadpanned, done with his random jealousy attacts.

He clutched his heart before he answered, “It still counts emotionally.”

You inhaled not wanting to comment back but, “As if I’m the first one who saw your ‘light rod’. Your mother changed your diapers and doctors saw it first too!”

He turned crimson, his eyes went wide, hands flying to cover his face.“WIFEY, WHY WOULD YOU BRING MY ‘LIGHT ROD’ INTO THIS?!” he gasped out, “but you’re the first one to... to touch it” he mumbled feeling shy suddenly.

After a few more banter, you were DONE, absolutely done. So you both ended up sitting side by side, you were scrolling on your phone, while he shrink into himself like a wounded toaster strudel. After a few minutes of silence, your phone buzzed with his message as if you’re not sitting together, “wifey 😭”

You lowered your phone slowly, staring at the message then at him. Seeing you stare at hum, he instantly pretended to be fascinated by the wall, then the ceiling, then his own knees, and then grabbed his phone with both hands again, shoulders curling inward like he’d shrink into the sofa if he could.

You lifted your phone, thumbs tapping lazily, your head tilting with a mix of disbelief and amusement. “???” you replied before adding, “Why are you chatting when we’re literally sitting together?”

You turned your face toward him, brows raised, lips pressed tight in a straight line. He flinched, eyes darting away before he peeked again like a puppy checking if the door is safe.

He typed back with trembling fingers, his thumbs tapping so lightly it looked like he feared hurting the keyboard. His leg bounced, shoulders hunched, and his hair is falling forward as he kept sneaking glances at you through his lashes. “I… I’m shy and scared to ask you 😣” followed by another weepy sticker.

You exhaled through your nose, fighting a smile. Leaning back, you shifted your phone to your other hand before typing, “What do you want?”

The moment he read you reply, he jumped slightly before he typed back with frantic, tiny taps, like he was trying not to make a noise but still panicking internally. “Are you still upset?” as if hus message isn’t enough he adds, “Can we cuddle? please? tiny cuddle? microscopic cuddle?”

You pressed your lips together, suppressing a laugh. Your finger hovered over the keyboard for a moment before you typed, “Guess.” and stood up to get some water

Seeing you stand, he thought you’re still upset so he reacted like you stood up to leave him for a monastery. “you’re still upset, you’re standing up. talk to me, cuddle me(っ－＿－)っ”

When you read his text, you decided not to reply instead, you turn around to face him again.

“Archien, I’m getting water.. stop using chat and talk to me in person!” you said while crossing arm.

Hearing that, he let out a tiny whimper standing up with fidgeting hand, making hus way to you. When he is close enough, he wrapped his arms around you tightly, burying his face in your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, wifey… please don’t be upset… I can’t survive it…” he mumbled while snuggling on your shoulder.