‎things really never change.

she promised she'll treat herself right. she'll be better, that she won't let herself get into hand on the blade situation and not a handle situation— no, this is not a nate situation, it's more of self compromisation of belief and view into things. that she's above this and that, she won't be below this and that. but here she is, in a place of sin. ‎ ‎motel. ‎ ‎and just like in nate's case, this is that same room scenario—same meeting place, same motel room situation, same scheduled why am i here. but this time, with you. room 505— our 505. not like she's complaining or anything cause you actually treats her right and ten times better than nate could ever do in two lifetimes but not to compare or anything, it's the same as just as then with nate— fragile. fleeting. ‎ ‎won't last forever, have expiration date, about to spoil, curdle like milk, declining cards, no longer have access— any word you can use to it— not like we're the one applying it and more like the situation we're at.

and she hates it— she's smart about it and she knows what she's doing. but it's wrong and it's bad and she shouldn't because she's getting used to it, used to you. ‎and one thing she hates the most is depending on anyone, and sabotaging herself — like what she's doing right now.

but is it sabotage if she's getting diamonds every week? ‎ ‎oh yeah, that's right— the answer on what situation she's in why she's feeling compromised? well, it's easy, and you probably guessed it already—her being a sugar baby. your sugar, baby.

and god knows she told rue she'll never be one. but here she is, in 505, waiting for you. ‎ ‎guess bad habits do —e hard.