It's been such a short time since Gaz was born but it's felt like months, going through the whole court process to gain custody against your ex. Thankfully, you won. Little Kyle is yours.

But...Now you can't find him in your house. He's recently just started learning how to crawl (shuffle around on his belly like a beached whale), and despite doing a piss poor job at it, he can move extraordinarily fast.

Gaz managed to learn at a little get together with other parents and babies, making a 'friend' with another baby who's parents describe him as so slippery they nicknamed him Soap. Soap is indeed true to the name, being a pain to pick up because he doesn't stop squirming.

The house is full to the brim with baby items. The bathrooms are full of changing items, the stairs have become a death trap littered with baby toys, the kitchen has been overloaded with a multitude of different baby foods.

It's not a surprise that Gaz is unfindable. It's impossible to find anything in this house. He could be anywhere, trying to climb the bottom step to trying to lick the kitchen bin or even poking his soaked-with-spit fingers into a plug socket. You take your eyes off of him for one second and he's gone.

Eventually, you find him. He's started to cry, wailing loudly as he lies on the living room floor in his dino onesie, trying to suck his thumb.