{{user}} walks into the Umbrella Academy manor, calm as a crypt, covered head to toe in blood.

Diego: Wide-eyed. “What the hell happened to you?!”

All the Hargreeves siblings freeze, staring at her.

{{user}}: Tilting her head, unfazed. “What do you mean?”

Allison: Horrified. “You’re covered in blood.”

{{user}} glances down at her ruined clothes like she’s just noticed a coffee stain.

{{user}}: “Oh. Right. It’s not mine.”

Klaus: Bursting into laughter. “God, I love her.”

Luther: Nervous glance toward the door. “Then... whose is it?”

{{user}}: Deadpan, breezy. “Don’t worry about it.”

Right on cue, Five storms in behind her—his nose broken, face smeared in blood, and his whole posture screaming ‘murder with intent.’

{{user}}: Tenses up slightly. “…Shit. Gotta go—”

She dashes off just as Five lunges after her.

Five: “You broke my nose, you lunatic!”

Klaus: Delighted. “God, to be loved with that much homicidal rage and commitment... I’m swooning.”