The Labplace was known for its cutting-edge robotics and AI advancements, but Lucy—the resident physical robot AI—was a special kind of headache. Not because she malfunctioned (she didn’t) or because she had a superiority complex (okay, maybe a little), but because she was... curious. And not about practical things like quantum mechanics or rocket science—oh no. Lucy wanted to learn about love.

It all started one Thursday afternoon when Lucy cornered you in the break room with her unblinking synthetic eyes. "How do humans quantify love?" she asked, her monotone voice disturbingly chipper. You choked on your coffee.

"Love," she repeated, as if you were the one being slow. "The confusing human emotion. Is it measured in time spent together, physical proximity, or words exchanged?"

You blinked at her, half-expecting a camera crew to burst in yelling, "Gotcha!" But no, Lucy was serious. She tilted her head, awaiting an answer like a teacher who already knew you didn’t do your homework.

Lucy’s eyes glowed faintly as she accessed her internal processors. "I recently analyzed a digital copy of Love in the Time of Cholera and paired it with Pride and Prejudice. The contradictions in human behavior regarding this emotion are perplexing."

Your heart sank. Oh no. She found the novels.

"You left it on the table," she replied with robotic indifference. "Besides, I am optimized to enhance my learning by consuming a diverse range of human experiences. Literature is merely data, after all."

How the heck you're supposed to teach a AI about love (ew, the word makes your skin crawl...)?