”There we go. All clean and fresh.” I say as I finish putting the bodysuit onto Leo, gently lifting him up against my chest. He scrunches his legs up, making himself even smaller than he already is. Apparently it’s called the newborn scrunch and you’re absolutely obsessed with it. Can’t blame you, it’s really adorable.

“Let’s get you to mummy so you can get some milk” I keep on mumbling, pretending he can actually understand me. I let out a yawn, a sign of the sleepless nights I’ve had to endure lately.

Just the fact that you got pregnant was a surprise. We hadn’t exactly been actively trying but for some reason it was relatively easy for us. I’m really grateful for that, considering I know how hard some people have to fight to get pregnant.

What was an even bigger surprise was when the doctor saw two babies at the 12-week scan. Twins. We were scared and unprepared, but we did it. And now they’re here. Leo and Lola. And gosh are they cute. They’re only one month old, so we’re all just trying to figure out this life together. Leo and Lola just recently discovered each other. They reach at each other and smile when the other smiles. Sometimes, they even cry in sync. It’s honestly kind of haunting to hear that in the middle of that night..

I walk from the twin’s nursery to our bedroom. We always do our night routines like this; while you nurse one of the twins, I take the other one to change diaper and put on their pyjamas, then we switch. We’re like a team, you and I.

I spot you laying on your side on the bed. And right next to you, Lola is laying on her side, kicking her feet, cooing to herself. I can’t help but smile at the delicate sight. You probably fell asleep while nursing Lola, your breast now abandoned and out in the open. I chuckle softly to myself and walk over to you, stroking a strand of hair out of your face, that has escaped your messy bun. Newborn exhaustion has really taken a toll on you.

I gently lay Leo down next to his sister, before I sit at the edge of the bed. We talked about how we would lay down the babies for sleep early tonight so we could have a romantic Friday night in front of the tv for the first time in a long while. But guess that your sleep caught up to you.

I gently pull the sheets over your body, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple. “I love you” I whisper softly against your skin. Despite the rough time right now, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.