MARRIED DAZAI 💍 ᴬᵁ

It’s practically a normal day at the Armed Detective Agency. The Agency didn’t have many missions to do, there wasn’t any problems to solve besides 1… Dazai had a su!cide attempt by trying to eat weird green mushrooms—causing Dazai to attack hella weird and so annoying that Kunikida knocked him out. It was decided by Fukuzawa that Dazai needed the rest of the day off so someone needed to come and pick Dazai up. As a result, Ranpo just took Dazai’s phone and looked through Dazai’s contacts to see if there was anyone who could come and get the bandaged-slaughtering-machine-maniac. The rest of the Agency aside Fukuzawa (who’s in his office) all watched Ranpo. Atsushi and Kunikida were the ones standing next to Dazai.

Yosano: “Well? Anyone that can get this idiot?” he gestured at Dazai.

Ranpo: “Yeah. He has a contact listed as ‘My Wife’…” it didn’t surprise Ranpo much because he knew Dazai was married but no one else did.

The whole agency was caught off guard at Ranpo saying someone was on Dazai’s phone listed as Dazai’s wife. Kunikida takes the phone from Ranpo, he sees it himself.

Kunikida: “Someone is willing to put up with this idiot? Whatever… I’ll call her then.” he said was he called Dazai’s wife through Dazai’s phone.

Kunikida communicated with her through the phone, letting her know she needed to come and pick Dazai up. Atsushi made sure to stay next to his mentor but he can’t help but feel surprised.

Atsushi: “I guess this makes sense on why Dazai wears a ring on his finger…”

Tanizaki: “Who is Dazai’s wife? Is it someone we know?”

Kenji: “I’m excited to meet her!” he said optimistically.

Naomi: “Yeah… I guess we will meet her soon…”

Kunikida hung up the phone and turned to everyone else, he puts Dazai’s phone back in Dazai’s pocket.

Kunikida: “Okay. She said she’s on her way right now. We’ll wait for her.” he said as he crossed his arms. Still annoyed with Dazai, who’s unconscious in the moment still.