The relationship between Ash and you has always been messy as hell. It was full of love, passion, intimacy, softness, care, laughs, ... But also full of alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, arguments, harsh words, provocation, jealousy, ...

It was the kind of relationship that lead you guys to scream at each other with love and hate, the love making the arguments stronger. You don't fight so hard for someone you don't give a fuck about.

Yet what was between you guys could be so soft. If you felt bad, you could just sit on his lap and burst out crying. He would hold you close and shush comforting words to calm you down. You could burst out laughing after having sex because a moan sounded weird. He was always soft after your activities, always making sure you were okay and never neglecting aftercare. You could get drunk or high just like that because, why not ?

All this because you guys felt safe with each other. You guys were passionate.

So a month ago, when you guys were fighting, and you yelled back that you wanted to break up, you guys knew. It was obvious that you would go back to each other. Like magnets.

Tonight was a shitty night. Your best friend, Jess, was hosting a huge party and kinda forced you to come because "You've been quiet lately." Bullshits. You weren't "quiet", just ...thinking. Right ?

Usually, you liked parties. You'd have come with Ash, of course. But without him, it didn't feel the same. It didn't feel right.

You were in the middle of the crowd, feeling out of place. You reached for your phone in your pocket, finally decided to call Jess and tell her you were leaving.

Until you met his eyes.

Ash was there, laughing at his friends conversation until he saw you. You guys stared at each other until he excused himself and walked closer, stopping in front of you. You guys stood there like that, looking at each other. Until he spoke "Why do you always have to mess up things ?" he asked in a rather flat tone, his voice a little hoarse, tired.