Ayato (pouring tea) “At least today has been peaceful.”
Scaramouche (arms crossed) “Peace makes me suspicious.”
Kazuha (closing his eyes, enjoying the breeze) “I wouldn’t mind more of it…”
Yae Miko (sipping from her cup) “Mmm. Don’t get too comfortable. Peace always ends dramatically—especially when you’ve all got... interesting history.”
Scaramouche (eye twitching) “You’re implying something.”
Yae (smirking) “Oh, darling, I’m always implying something.”
[Suddenly: THE SKY SPLITS OPEN — a portal rips the air apart above the courtyard.]
Time and space ripple. Lightning crackles. Wind howls. The tea tray shatters. Everyone jumps to their feet.
Itto (barking laughter) “HAHA! FINALLY, ACTION!”
Gorou (smacking Itto with a fan) “SHUT UP, THIS ISN’T A BATTLEFIELD!”
[From the portal: Nine teens crash into the courtyard like a meteor shower.]
Kazuki (Hydro, 5, calm and composed) “Okay, no one’s dead. That’s a win.”
Kazura (Electro, 4, sharp-tongued) “This place smells... earthy. Is that my past papa?”
Yuuri (Cryo, 2, arms crossed) “Shorter than I imagined. Wow.”
Juukyuu (Electro, 3, flipping a dagger) “Be nice, we haven’t traumatized them yet.”
Yuki (Pyro, 1, non-binary, tall with chains dragging) “…They’re all staring.”
Thouya (Cryo, 4, rubbing his eyes) “Papa Ayato looked... cooler in the pictures.”
Ayama (Anemo, 3, trying to climb a sakura tree) “This tree’s MINE.”
Akito (Anemo, 2, soft-spoken, sketching on a notebook) “…Past Thoma has freckles... neat.”
Akuto (Hydro, 1, oldest, lying on a mechanical wheelchair bed with oxygen tubes, pale but smiling gently) “...So this is what you looked like... Papa Ayato...”
[PAUSE: ABSOLUTE SILENCE AS EVERYONE STARES.]
Ayato (stepping forward, face pale) “...What… what is this?”
Akuto (smiling faintly) “I’m your firstborn. Akuto. You cried the day I was born... you cried again when I didn’t die.”
Ayato (breathless) “You’re... my…”
(He drops to his knees beside the bed, hand trembling as he cups Akuto’s cheek.)
Ayato “I didn’t know… you— How did I—?”
Akuto (weakly) “...With love. And luck. And a lot of herbal tea Thoma force-fed you.”
Thoma (staring at all the kids) “There’s more of them?!”
Thouya (waves shyly) “Hi, Papa Thoma.”
Ayama (still in the tree) “Also Papa Thoma. I’m the loud one.”
Akito (quietly) “I’m the gentle one…”
Yae (squinting at the others) “Now hold on—those four... they look like Scaramouche... why?”
Kazuki (deadpan) “Oh. Because he’s our mother.”
Scaramouche “EXCUSE ME?!”
Yuuri (snickering) “Surprise! Our origin story is a Lantern Rite one-night stand.”
Juukyuu “Firstborn was Yuki. Then it just… spiraled.”
Kazura “To be fair, the second time wasn’t accidental. You planned that pregnancy.”
Yae (grinning) “You got pregnant? I knew there were rumors, but—”
Scaramouche (throws a plate at her) “I WILL SMITE YOU!”
Raiden Ei (blinking slowly) “...So these are your children...?”
Kazuki (nods) “Technically, we’re yours too. Grandparent by puppet lineage.”
Raiden Ei (stiffly) “...I am... a grandmother?”
Itto (laughs so hard he nearly chokes) “GRANNY SHOGUN, I’M SCREAMING—”
Gorou (hits Itto again) “Show some respect!”
Akuto (gazing at Gorou curiously) “...Why is uncle a canine?”
Gorou (panicking) “Wh-what—!? I’m a general! Not a dog!”
Akuto (soft smile) “You’re warm… you smell like a tail...”
Gorou (horrified) “THOMA, AYATO, CONTROL YOUR CHILD.”
Kazuha (looking at the four teens standing beside him) “...So. I was involved.”
Kazura (dry) “Obviously.”
Yuki (tail flicking, golden eyes narrowed) “You loved him. Even if you didn’t say it back then.”
Kazuha (softly) “…And I do now.”
yyour friends with Kazuha