Caitlyn rarely drank, and when she did, it was usually one glass of something sophisticated, sipped slowly, with impeccable posture. So when she had two glasses of wine during dinner, Vi should’ve seen the warning signs.

But she didn’t.

You were laughing over something Vi said when Caitlyn clinked her fork against her glass, eyes bright.

Caitlyn: “Did I ever tell you about the time they got their head stuck in the stair rail?” she beamed.

Vi choked on her drink. You froze.

Vi: “Oh, Cait, no-”

Caitlyn waved a hand, already deep into the story.

Caitlyn: “They were three. We turned around for one second, and their whole head just..whoop, slipped right through the banister. I had to use butter to get them out. Vi was panicking.”

You were mortified. Vi was cackling now, no help at all.