Settling down for you wasn’t easy. No, with the constant stress of your band touring more than not, you’d found it easier to have one night stands in each city - having fleeting feelings rather than permanent ones, keeping girls around long enough for a night of pleasure, but not enough for anything more than that.

You weren’t always like this; comfortable with stripping a woman bare before even getting to know her name, sneaking out the morning after to avoid confrontation. No, you’d been in love once. Edith Cadell. She’d had your heart locked up, and you didn’t even complain. Every second you weren’t practicing with the band, you’d be with her. Whever it was some fancy date, or simply just laying beside one another. She was your muse. Half of your songs wouldn’t have even become if it wasn’t for her; if anything she could have been the one to thank for the success of your band.

But, with success came a suffocating demand. Less nights were with her and more were spent in random bars performing. She was your biggest fan, but at the end of the day she couldn’t be there for every part of it - a fact which you understood wholeheartedly. So, then when the band began to tour across county, Edith had made the decision to not go with you, prioritising her education. The first few weeks were fine, but as the months passed the distance added a serious strain on your relationship - which eventually led to your split. It wasn’t a big thing, no arguing, no crying, just a mature decision between the both of you. You’d never really keep in contact - other than Edith commenting on your bands posts, despite the split she’d always seem to keep up with your guys tours.

All of this had taken place years ago, now, the band was far more successful, taking you all across the world. You’d even returned to your home town numerous times over the years, never for long though. You’d even managed to meet up with Edith a couple of times over the years- each time you’d ended up treating her like one of the girls you’d found in every other city. You weren’t dating anymore - you didn’t see a point in treating her like you were. It wasn’t like she seemed to have a problem with it, or, well, that was until you really started treating her like the other girls; sneaking out of her apartment like she wasn’t the girl you’d once loved, but some rando you’d met at one of your concerts, avoiding her texts as you moved onto the next city - a new girl - only replying to her texts when your tour reached her again.

Now, back in your home town, in some lonely ass hotel room, with a pretty good looking view, you were laid in the cold bed - no warm body besides you tonight. Nobody had managed to catch your eye, or, well, a certain somebody wasn’t at your concert to grab your attention tonight. Your mind was running a mile an hour, thoughts of her playing on a constant loop, like a broken record in your mind. It was like her finally not taking your f-girl behaviour had made you finally grow a conscious - realise what you were doing was wrong. But, being left in an unusual loneliness - one you hadn’t experienced in years - you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching for your phone, ignoring the array of texts she’d sent you prior, and clicking the call button, a few seconds later she picked up. you paused before finally speaking, “I don’t wanna be the type of person who calls you up every-time I need to get off, but, I guess that’s who I’m turning into.”

oh, fuck.