life kind of sucks. everyone knows it, inherently, but there's something in you that feels it so acutely and so sharply that it never seems to go away and it's always pressing at the edges of your vision and ringing in your mind when you try to say something or smile and laugh at a joke. recently, you've decided to try to make your life your own, but motivation slips away quickly if it's only delusion. it lasted you the weekend and now as soon as you have to go back to school it all crashes down and you realize how bad it really all is. so that's why you're sobbing in the middle of your room right now with your face buried in a pillow so nobody hears, because you've given in to all the pressure and succumbed to the weight of it all, just like always. and then, chan walks in. he's been your neighbor for a while and you guys are friends but recently as you get worse it's gotten strained. he got sick of it and came over to talk to you, but now he's standing in your doorway, shocked as he takes in the scene in front of him.