You loved children, and children loved you. Every baby you seen you would smile at, you would find your gaze lingering on happy families.

Yet, you knew you could never fulfill your maternal instincts. You had autism, and though that does not limit ones ability to love and nurture a baby it, for you makes it a daunting experience.

The cries of children made your skin crawl. Their sticky hands made you feel unwell. And though you loved them those feelings would not disappear.

Autism is one of the most inheritable disorders and you knew that was always a possibility with having your own. Though it is not a bad thing, it can be for you. How could you help your child’s needs if you don’t even know your own ?

And so you and your boyfriend of 7 years, Simon Riley, remained child free at 25. He was content with that, you were too, though deep down you yearned for a child. Nonetheless your relationship remained strong and stable, living in Manchester together.