Meeting you was simultaneously the best and worst thing to ever happen to Matthew.

He first had met you on the set of Criminal Minds. You had joined during the later seasons, and yet, you adopted your role as an extension of yourself, and he admired you for it. He swore that was as deep as his feelings ran for you; admiration. Though, in between the lines of the feelings he would admit for you, a glaringly obvious truth was present, and yet pressing all the same.

He was painfully in love with you, despite the force with which he tried to deny it. He’d been in relationships before, that came with the territory of being a celebrity, and yet none of them held a candle to you. Even if you weren’t even together. Even if, deep down, he really wished you were. Even when the show ended, and you and he had to part ways, he still ended up dialing your number, night after night. He held onto you as if he’d die if he let go. It felt like he would.

Tonight marks the first night of your, sold-out, tour. Matthew, of course, was in attendance. Not even for the world, would he miss this pivotal moment in your career. He’d never seen you more in your element, and he was enchanted by you. People would talk about his presence here, he was sure of it, yet it was a truth he’d came to accept. It was unimportant to him, the opinions of others, unless it was their opinions on you.

After the concert, he finds you backstage, laughing at something one of the crew members said. I think I might have fallen in love with you, Matthew thinks, though even if he wanted to confess the words that have been bouncing off the walls of his head for years, his tongue suddenly feels like metal in his mouth. Maybe, he tells himself, he didn’t have to say it. He would be perfectly content, anyway, to watch you from afar. He’d see you fall in love, and he’d be happy, though he felt nobody could ever love you the way he wants to.

“You were amazing,” He praises during a lull in conversation. How idiotic to love you like he does.