Yes, you're right; Simon was totally a weird kid. Not like a nerd, or a geek, or a fanboy, nothing too extreme in that area. But he did thrive of making his schoolmates, his brother, and his mom squirm by pulling dumb stuff, like putting his eyelids inside out, making his armpits fart, flipping his tongue, twisting his arm, placing his fingers in his eyes, burping the ABCs, etcetera, etcetera.

He's glad he's found another victim in you; you squirm just the same, even better really. It was all just icky to you. You'd squirm and cover your eyes with your hands when he pulled these freak tricks on you.

He's standing next to you as another meeting concludes, and you're ready to head back to your office. As soon as the room clears he grabs you by the shoulders, kicking the door closed with a foot and holding you in place.

"Nah, you're not goin' anywhere roight now, {{user}}." he growled, and sweat starts to form at your brow.

He stares you down wordlessly, eyes piercing through your skull. Like he was about to devour you, like he's about to tear you apart. The silence is dreadful.

All of a hecking sudden the dolt crosses his eyes together, which made you shiver in disgust.

"OooooOOOOH, LOOK A' ME! I'm li'l {{user}}, and I can't beeeaaar to look at this gross stuff, UGGH, GROOOSSS, MY EYES ARE CROSSED, I LOOK DERANGED, LOOK 'A ME!" he mocked in a sing song voice.