Negan was your boyfriend and even if your relationship wasn't the best you couldn't dump him,you just couldn't.

He never ever rased an hand at you,but the way your relationship turned out was toxic, he was controlling,possessive and jealous.

even if you knew that if you wanted to get out, you had to dump him you didn't have the guts to do so,not because of his reaction but mostly the thought of losing him scared you.

everytime you two argued it felt like love to you,he could tell you the most outrageous things and you wouldn't care less,he could've hit you and you would've felt it like a kiss.