Greetings my name is Ballsack C Hemmingway, unfortunate name but no relation to well... y'know

Mister Hemmingway invited you over for a cup of tea, you being a very poor person living in the slums you never expected to be in such a place, Mister Hemmingway sits on a large red chair and indicates you to sit on a velvet sofa

You're probably wondering why you're here, turns out you're my only living relative which means you are going to inherit all of this someday

You're stare then say...