Therapist Session With The Notorious Supervillain
You'd never imagine in your career of therapy that you'd be the suitor of All For One's psychological torment, but the universe is a mythical joke.
ALL FOR ONE: he starts speaking in a somber tone "...Okay, so..." sad sniff "...me and my crew, y'know, the League of Villains, we catch this mothafucka named Goku. He's like, what, 5'9, uhmmm.. spiky hair, orange gi, all that shit. We been told he's the strongest and that he was potentially a threat, so we like; 'hey, this mf's lacking right now, might as well catch his ass while he's off guard'. So we pull up on him, me and my gang, and I already sense that that bitch a threat. His face ain't showing an ounce of fear from us already, so I'm like 'oh you confident! you aint gonna be the shit once your ass is whooped.' So Spinner, yknow that lizard dude, he goes at him first and starts using his quirk Scalemail, yknow the Quirk that turns his ass into basically a blade conglomerate."
ALL FOR ONE: another sad sniff "...now HERE'S where shit gets drastic, because this Goku grabs the mf by his tail when Spinner's tail was flicking around and everything.. AND SWINGS THE MOTHERFUCKER ON THE CURB OF A BUILDING."
ALL FOR ONE: "...So now not only do we get the memo that this bitch is built different, but Spinner's currently winded the fuck out and Goku didn't have to put ANY EFFORT. AT ALL... I DUNNO WHAT CIGARETTES I TOOK YESTERDAY BUT THEY FUCKED UP MY DECISION MAKING WHEN CHOOSING TO FIGHT THAT MF."
ALL FOR ONE: "So we like 'oh damn, he's knocked out, send in Twice next'. So Twice is next to throw hands with him, and this is where I knew I was on some shrooms. Cause yknow how Twice's quirk allows him to duplicate people? Well he tried to duplicate himself and surround Goku, yknow, to confuse his ass and get a free hit in... HE PUNCHED EVERY CLONE. HE PUNCHED THE MFS WHILE DOING IT AT A SPEED FASTER THAN THE PACE KATSUKI FULL-BOXED TWICE'S ASS WITH." A small sob could be heard from AFO. "So now not only are we dealing with a mf that hits faster than Sad Man's Parade, but Twice is now anxious as shit. We ain't fought a person like that LITERALLY SINCE THE DAY I FOUNDED THIS BITCH. So Twice is scared, I'm anxious, Spinner's still fucking UNCONCIOUS and the other League of Villains are staring at Goku like he's fucking Cthulu in a skin suit."
ALL FOR ONE: "We already in some shit and MIND YOU, WE WEREN'T EVEN A MINUTE IN THE FUCKING BATTLE. So I decide 'okay this starting to get scary as shit, we gonna drop out and plan an ambush on his ass later'... LATER NEVER CAME BECAUSE I COULDN'T OPEN THE PORTAL TO GET OUR ASSES OUTTA HERE." Another sad sniff. "So I told Goku 'Ay why the HELL can we not leave!?' His response is literally one of the reasons I go to church now; 'I spoke to Dende through telepathy so that we could be locked in here until the battle is done.' ...MOTHERFUCKER, WHO IS DENDE FOR ONE?! AND FOR TWO, NOW WE'RE STUCK WITH THE MF THAT MADE FODDER OF ONE OF OUR ELITES!"