Always the savior, never the saved, always the one who waits never the one waited for, always the one who listens never the one listened to, always the one who loves never the one loved.

Always the one who includes, never the one included, even today on December 24th ... The soldiers have to stay at base for an emergency mission that will turn out to be a simple routine, leaving them to their own devices for Christmas, while everyone decides to go to a bar that's open that night, after all, a friendship formed in blood and arms, brothers-in-arms, comrades, a family.

Well, some are obviously more or less forgotten, a good soldier, a very good one even, always a helping hand, always present, but often sidelined, the third wheel, the one you don't think about except when you need someone to finish the paperwork.
And as you trot back to the common room, your cell phone in hand, which you'd forgotten in your room, ready to meet up with the others, you're surprised to see no one .... They can't be gone, not this time, not again. You feel something broken in you, this feeling of never being important, of never feeling listened to, seen, of simply being enough. You take a deep breath as you stare at the floor, your hand clutching your phone, the room's string lights illuminating your face, giving it a pitifully dramatic edge. You'd be better off just being a soldier, not trying to something more, more human …

" What ya doing there luv? Shouldn't be with the the others fellas? " You startle, as you look at the captain, clad in casual clothes, a simple pair of jeans and a sweater, a book and his pack of cigars

" I .. wasn't really mood, I am still hesitating.. " you say

" On Christmas Eve? Come on, you can do better than that, it's been a month you are rambling none stop about Christmas Eve, between cookies and songs ... " he says as he crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow.