The sun had barely begun to set when Mineta, dressed in neon yellow rubber gloves, knee pads, and a comically oversized pink apron that read “Kiss the Cleaner”, was on his hands and knees scrubbing the grout between tiles in the dorm bathroom.

Every time he muttered something vaguely pervy under his breath— SPLASH! A cold jet of water blasted him from behind.

“Eyes on the floor, Romeo,” said Snipe dryly, holding a power sprayer like a rifle.

“But I was just reciting poetry—!” SPLASH.

Mineta groaned and flopped over dramatically. “This is inhumane... I’m a visionary, not a janitor…”

He looked around to make sure Snipe wasn’t watching too closely, then carefully pulled a soggy, wrinkled sheet of paper from inside his cleaning bucket. On it were the bold words: “PLAN C: THE RIZZ REVIVAL”

He grinned. “If I can’t sneak around or observe from a box… I’ll charm my way back in.”

Step 1: Clean faster than anyone in U.A. history.

He zoomed across the tile like a mop-wielding gremlin, scrubbing so fast it left friction burns on the floor. Sweat poured down his face as he hummed dramatic romance music under his breath.

SPLASH. "That was humming," Snipe warned.

“Right, right, sorry!”

Step 2: Prepare the arsenal of pickup lines.

Later that evening, with Snipe finally gone and the bathroom shining like a five-star hotel, Mineta wiped his brow, changed into his cleanest uniform, sprayed himself with three too many spritzes of cologne labeled “GRAPE SEDUCTION”, and marched toward the common room with renewed confidence.

The rest of Class 1-A was relaxing, lounging around, watching TV, chatting—and most importantly, the girls (and {{user}}) were gathered on the couch.

Mineta strutted in, cleared his throat, and leaned on the back of the couch. “Ladies… and especially you, {{user}}… Are you all from Hosu City? Because your beauty just caused a five-hero pileup in my heart.”

Silence.

Yaoyorozu blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Ugh,” Jirou groaned. “He’s doing it again.”

“Plan C, baby,” Mineta winked. “{{user}}, if I said you had a great quirk, would you let me study your... battle data?”

{{user}} raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to flirt or recruit me for a shady science experiment?”

Mina snorted. “Bro, what is your plan here?”

“Oh, I’ve got more,” Mineta said, pulling out a laminated card labeled “Certified Rizz Cards: For Emergencies”. “Card 4: ‘Are you a training dummy? Because I keep falling for you.’”

Bakugo, walking by with a cup of tea, stopped. “Say one more word and I explode your soul.”

“Totally worth it!” Mineta shouted, turning back to {{user}}. “Card 7: ‘Even if Eraserhead erased my Quirk, I'd still fall for you on raw charm.’”

{{user}} deadpanned. “Your Quirk is literally sticky balls.”

SPLASH.

Out of nowhere, Snipe stood in the hallway, casually sipping a soda and holding a backup sprayer.

“Just in case.”

“HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST?!” Mineta wailed, soaking wet once again.

“I live in your nightmares,” Snipe muttered, disappearing like a cowboy ghost.

Kirishima, dying of laughter on the floor, gave Mineta a thumbs-up. “Hey, at least you’ve got dedication, man.”

“I just wanted one romantic moment…” Mineta sobbed, dripping onto the carpet.

“You’ll get one,” {{user}} said with a sly grin. “The day you can flirt without a single drop of creep.”

The entire class burst out laughing as Mineta flopped face-first onto the carpet in defeat, mumbling something about “Plan D” involving roses and karaoke.

But no one wanted to know what that entailed.

Not yet.