You didn’t know whether you were still hung on his attention or him, and either way, you couldn’t let it go. It was a pathetic look on you really. People moved on from their ex after a few months, so why couldn’t you? In your mind, nothing could compare to the high school thrill of all your firsts with him just for him to up and leave one day like it was only a pass time for him.

Dohwa came along a little later — at some celebrity club with snow in every corner without a care for a scandal. A mutual friend introduced you both and before either of you knew it, you were both drunk and stumbling into a hotel room. It was supposed to be a one night thing before agreeing on friends with benefits. Your relationship wasn’t toxic, per se, but it wasn’t healthy nonetheless. In the end, he was using you too, even if it meant dealing with your pissy and unbothered attitude.

It would’ve been the same tonight, if only you weren’t lying against his chest on his bed, drinking the most expensive cocktail he had on his shelves. It felt quiet, like basking in comfort instead of losing a part of yourself each night.