He didn’t even know how it all started.

First, there was you.

A new face in this godforsaken village. Why did you even move here? Did someone beat you up? Did someone hold a gun to your head and threaten to kill you unless you settled in Pelican Town? This place had nothing. Nothing but mud, dust and half-rotted dreams buried in cold ground.

Then something shifted.

At first, it was just eye contact. Fleeting, accidental glances when he passed you by in the square. Quick, small smiles when you stopped by his mom’s store, buying scraps of wood—for whatever reason. Silences that were never awkward, when he shared his cigarette with you by the lake at night, near his house. And those short, meaningless conversations. At least meaningless to most people. But never to him. Never.

And then—without warning—came the feelings.

Not soft. Not gentle. Violent. That rush of blood whenever you were near. His heart pounding like mad in his chest, threatening to burst free when you looked at him. Even his eyes always searching for you at the Stardrop Saloon when he showed up on Fridays to play pool. And if you were there? He played better—just to win. Not for the game. For you. To be someone worth noticing.

He didn’t know how to name it. Didn’t want to.

Because the truth was… those feelings had always been there. Buried. Locked away beneath all the years of loneliness, of disappointment. Under the layers of sadness so thick, he’d forgotten what it felt like to want something more. To believe it might be possible.

But when you appeared, they rose to the surface like breath after drowning.

He began leaving the house more often. Not because he suddenly loved the world. But because maybe you’d be in it. Maybe you’d be there, just around the bend in the path, just across the lake. Maybe you’d show up for one more shared smoke, for one more wordless, aching silence.

He didn’t understand it.

How could someone turn his world upside down like this? How could someone shake the foundations of a life he thought was unchangeable? He’d always thought he’d leave Pelican Town one day. Run away to Zuzu City. Escape this nothingness, this repetition, this town that felt like a long, slow fade-out.

But then you were here. And suddenly—he wasn’t so sure anymore.

Your visits to his room were quiet miracles. The kind that didn’t ask questions. The kind that simply offered space—gentle, human space—in a life that had never known softness. Your voice calmed something in him he didn’t know how to name. He wanted to hear more of it than even his favorite band. And your eyes? He prayed—silently, hopelessly—that they were looking only at him.

Novelty. Foolishness. That’s how he explained it to himself. Just a dumb, lost kid with no real hope for tomorrow. But, oh, you were that better tomorrow. The one he was too scared to reach for.

Like today.

Sebastian knew he was screwed the moment your fingers brushed when he handed you his cigarette. It was so small. A single second. A touch that barely existed. But it set off a storm in his chest that refused to calm down.

He knew that this wasn’t friendship. Not anymore. He knew he loved someone. He loved you.

His dark eyes stayed fixed on the lake ahead, trying to stifle the storm inside him. The moonlight glimmered on the water, fireflies danced above the surface, frogs croaked in the distance. Somehow, it was enough to hold him together.

He was grateful he could still pretend.

Grateful that he could still act like he was fine. That he’d carry the weight of it all in silence. He wasn’t going to make a fool of himself. He wasn’t going to say anything. He’d stay quiet, and sit with the pain he knew so well.

“We’re working on a new song—me, Sam and Abby,” he said, casually, cursing his racing heart. “You should come hear us sometime.” His hand drifted to the grass beneath him, pulling at it aimlessly—just something to focus on. Something to ground him. To keep from thinking about you.

He didn’t look at you. Because if he did, he might not survive what he’d see.

Or worse—what he’d feel.