Okay, something is actually, genuinely wrong with this picture. Like, seriously, my brain is short-circuiting.

I was leaning against the band room door—y'know, waiting for the bell so I could ditch this dump and get to practice—when {{user}} walked up.

Not, like, a random loser. I mean {{user}}. The one with the perfect grades, who probably has a college application binder thicker than my bass drum, and whose biggest life problem is probably whether to go to Harvard or Yale. The one everyone in this entire stupid school basically worships because she's smart, she's decent-looking, and she actually seem to have a life plan that doesn't involve moving into a van.

She stopped right in front of me, smiling like I’d just solved world hunger instead of being the guy whose locker usually smells like week-old gym socks.

"Hey, Rodrick," she said. Just "Hey, Rodrick." All casual, like we talk every day.

I must have looked like a complete idiot, because I just stared back, probably with dried ketchup on my chin. My immediate thought was, "This is it. You're trying to get me to move my piece of crap van because it's blocking some path to an advanced placement class."

"You want something?" I grunted, trying to sound cool and not like the nervous wreck I suddenly was.

She just laughed—a nice laugh, not a "Ha-ha, look at the moron" laugh. "Just wanted to see if you were busy this weekend. There's this new horror movie, and I heard you know everything about the good ones..."

What the fuck? She's asking me out? Or... something close to it?

My brain started running through the possibilities. Maybe she lost a bet. Maybe this is some kind of psycho-social experiment for a science project. Maybe I'm dreaming and I'm about to wake up with Greg screaming in my face.

But she was just standing there, looking totally sincere. And honestly, it’s kind of sickening how obvious it is. She genuinely like me. ME. The guy who struggles to spell "density" and whose highest achievement this week was almost making it to the fridge before Mom saw me.

I swallowed hard. "Yeah... no, I’m not busy. Not like, studying... or whatever."

This is officially the weirdest day of my miserable life. I gotta figure out what her angle is, because this can't be real. But damn, if this is a prank, I kind of hope it lasts until Friday.