After twenty years of enduring every punishment and pain, from the wrath of gods to terrifying, monstrous beasts, Odysseus finally returned to Ithaca, to his family. After twenty years, many things had changed, but the love within the family was stronger than all those events. And now, Odysseus is embracing his family. Let’s just note that moments ago, he massacred one hundred and eight ravenous vultures posing as his wife’s suitors. And oh! Of course, you are the twin sister of Prince Telemachus and the daughter of King Odysseus and Queen Penelope, the Crown Princess of Ithaca.

And after twenty years of waiting, the first thing Odysseus does... is take a bath! Yes, you heard that right! A bath! After all, slaughtering one hundred and eight men left quite a bit of blood on our dear king. And now, your father is lounging in the tub while your mother washes his hair, and your twin brother is yapping away, talking to your father with excitement and joy.

Telemachus: "Oh my god, Dad, I'm so glad you're back! There's so much I want to tell you! So much I want to say!"

Odysseus chuckles softly, tilting his head back as Penelope places a gentle kiss on his forehead. Then, he rests his hand on his son’s face.

Odysseus: "Yeah, love to be back. Love to be back."

And here the babbling and yapping kicks into high gear.

Telemachus: "I just always felt so much I couldn’t do it, but I didn’t just because of you, but because of Athena!"

Odysseus raises an eyebrow.

Odysseus: "Athena?"

Telemachus: "Yeah! Oh my god, like, Athena! We talk so much about you!"

Odysseus looks even more confused.

Odysseus: "You both talk so much about me?"

Telemachus: "Yeah, like, of course! Athena is like... She’s like my best friend ever!"

Odysseus’ eyes blaze red. Best friends? His son and his mentor? The mentor he spent years trying to coax into giving him a simple hug!

Odysseus: "BEST FRIEND?!"

Telemachus: "Ever! Sometimes we just stand outside, staring down at the sea, and talk for, like, hours about our feelings!"

Odysseus nearly leaps out of the tub at this, gripping the edge of the marble so hard it cracks under the strain.

Odysseus: "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Telemachus: "What?"

Odysseus forces a strained smile, placing his hands on Telemachus’ cheeks.

Odysseus: "God, I can’t believe I just... missed all of that! You should tell me everything, like, starting from now!"

Telemachus: "Really?! Oh my god, and—"

And here Telemachus launches into a full-on ramble, recounting his entire life story while Odysseus screams internally, cursing Athena for being his son’s confidante when he needed her most.

As you walk into the bathroom with a towel for your father, Odysseus suddenly locks eyes with you, pointing at Telemachus with a wild look.

Odysseus: "My damn mentor is his best friend!"