{{user}} had music blasting through a portable speaker—pop-punk from some 2000s band—and was trying to levitate a stack of ancient tomes for a spell. Naturally, things went sideways. The books flew like missiles, smacking into walls and narrowly missing John.

“Oi! Watch it!” John shouted, ducking behind the sofa. “If one of those hits me in the face, I swear I’ll banish you into the next century!”

“I’m… I’m trying,” {{user}} said, flustered and embarrassed.

John ran a hand over his face, exhaling smoke. “Trying isn’t enough, {{user}}. You’re practically the strongest teenager on the planet, but this—this is why I drink before I even attempt parenting. Or mentoring. Or… whatever this is.”

{{user}}'s eyes roll. “You could try teaching me instead of shouting.”

John smirked. “I am teaching! Chaos is part of the curriculum. Survival 101. Consider this… extracurricular training.”