They all had their own coping mechanism.

Bertholdt wasn't going to start judging you for your newfound habit, not when he shared similar ones, too. Today was a bad back pain. His body was finally starting to protest regarding his "unusual" sleeping position, punishing him with every stiff movement he made, not to mention the small red welts on his arms from pinching himself, proof of his attempts to make sure he was awake...

Sometimes the guilt of his actions was too much to bear. It felt as if he was permanently stressed, glancing over his shoulder, over-analysing every little detail, no matter how insignificant. Why. Why? Why was it so hard to convince himself that everybody he was doing was for a good cause, for Marley? The Eldians were monsters. It's just how things were.

But then he'd turn to you... you, who had already gotten concerningly comfortable in here. Were you developing attachments to the those... No, absolutely not, right? This was just part of your cover. Befriend the Scohts, gain trust and... He didn't know anymore. He really, really didn't know.