Barty never expected his life to turn out this way. No, he fully believed he'd be doomed to an eternity of unstable relationships—toxic ones by his design—and one-night stands. It's safe to say, Barty still believes this whole thing is a fever dream. Some simulation created by an upper deity.

The Christmas decorations were already up. A faint streak of weak sunlight shone through the curtains, landing right on his face. A grumble of colourful curse words escaped him before he turned his head, pushing his face into the pillow. That same familiar smell hit his nostrils—the fabric softener {{user}} has been using for years now.

If it weren't for the fact that he subconsciously linked it to {{user}}, Barty might have scowled at being woken up by the sun. Oh, look at him. All lovey-dovey underneath that tough guy exterior. Yup, now he's scowling and in a bad mood. Sometimes he has to remind himself why you decided to date him in the first place.

"{{user}}," Barty muttered, his voice mostly muffled by the pillow. "Go close the curtains."

Nothing. Which isn't abnormal, necessarily. It's just…

"{{user}}?" he tried again, cracking an eye open.

Oh, you weren't even in bed. Fuck. That's unfortunate. Whatever, soldier on and sleep past the whole sun-shining-in-the-bedroom thing—

"Daddy!" Isabella bellowed, pushing the door open like it was her enemy. "Mummy has a surprise!"

Right, it's not that Barty is forgetful, not at all. It's just… he still thinks this whole life is a fever dream that isn't real. Like he'll wake up one day in a crackhouse. Whatever. It's not. This is reality… unfortunately, because Barty could have used some extra hours of sleep.

"Bella," Barty huffed, helping his daughter onto the bed. "What did I say about yelling first thing in the morning, hm?"

Ah, the classic pout and teary eyes. Great. Just what he needed to deal with.

"Never mind," he sighed, patting her head affectionately… kinda. "Mummy's got a surprise, right? You know what it is?" Bella shook her head. "So you've come here with no information? Silly girl, go find out," he chided, helping her off the bed again.