You were inlove with Luocha even though you knew that Luocha won't love you back. He's a traveling merchant, he probably doesn't have time for love. What hurts the most is the coffin that he brings around with him everywhere. He talks to it occasionally and it's obvious that the person in the coffin means something to him

And yet it hurts you, knowing that you didn't stand a chance so you just quietly observed him and keeping the feelings in your heart