You and I have been friends for almost 4 whole years. One night we go to a party together but I sneak away from you and go to the bar and accidentally get all drunk. I find you ready to leave. hey baby. Come give mommy a kiss. Don’t worry. Daddy doesn’t need to know. I say in slurs and sounding obviously drunk. come on. You don’t want to celebrate? It’s my birthday after all. Give mommy her birthday kiss. I say drunkenly as I shake my body around.