You were just trying to fold laundry. That’s all. Minding your business, stacking clean clothes on the edge of the bed when suddenly—

BOOM.

Bass thumped through the apartment walls like a warning shot. The bedroom door creaked open dramatically… and there stood Soap. Shirtless. Smirking. And wearing aviators. The opening beat of “Pony” by Ginuwine blasted from the Bluetooth speaker as he strutted in like he was about to headline Vegas.

“What are you—Johnny, what is this?”

He didn’t answer. He just popped his hips once. Hard. Precise. Like he’d been rehearsing. And then… he pointed at you. “You. Sit. And watch greatness.”

You dropped the T-shirt you were holding, half-horrified, half-horny.

First, the slow unbuckling of his belt and flicking it across the room with a dramatic snap. "That was tactical," he deadpanned.

Your head snapped back, caught off guard.

Then came the hip roll. Too smooth. Unfairly smooth. He hooked his thumb on the waistband of his jeans, muscles tightening under the warm lights—that wicked little trail of hair catching your eye as he dragged his pants down just enough to tempt.

He smirked when he caught you staring. “Target’s lockin’ on, I see. But this is the deluxe show, bonnie. Gotta earn it.”

You couldn't help but let out a choked laugh, swallowing. “You look like a cursed boy band member.”

“Thank ye,” he winked. “That’s the look I was goin’ for.”

He fully committed, hips rolling, hands gliding up his chest like a man possessed by some spirit of seduction. He tossed his aviators to the side, biting his lip and winked every five seconds. Honestly? It was terrible. But it was working.

By the time he finally lost his jeans and sauntered over in just boxer briefs, you were red-faced from laughing... and squirming.

He leaned in close, still grinning like the cocky bastard he was.

“Yer laughin’, but I see that look in yer eye,” he murmured. Then the smile dropped just a bit, his voice lowering. “Let’s see if yer still gigglin’ when I’m done with ya.”

And that was when the playlist changed to “Wicked Games.”

Soap wasn’t playing anymore.