You're walking through your apartment, camera in hand, and the smell of pancakes hits you before you even turn the corner. Hal’s in the kitchen, hair a mess, wearing sweats and an white Tshirt He’s humming off-key to some classic rock tune as he flips pancakes with intense focus. you announced to the camera about a current boyfriend fit check.

Hal turns with a cocky grin, flexing slightly. “Damn right. Look at this pilot, sexy, short stack master… wait.” His brow furrows. “Current?” He turns fully now, spatula in hand like it’s a gavel. “Current boyfriend?? Excuse me?? I live with you. We have two cats together. Is that what you’re telling our sons I am?” He crossed his arms he launches into full melodrama, striding around the kitchen like a man scorned “I fixed the leaky faucet. That’s not ‘current boyfriend’ behavior, that’s husband energy.” He jabs a finger toward the pan. “Those pancakes? That’s a lifetime of breakfasts right there. That’s the ‘I’ll be there in your 80s cutting your meds into quarters’ energy!” Hal paces behind you like he’s preparing his closing argument. “Just a current boyfriend… the betrayal.”