Alec couldn’t help but feel guilty, even though it was 5 years since his mistake.

I mean, he was supposed to protect you, keep you safe until you could give the station your statement on the latest murder you witnessed. And, he believed your own house, with surveillance, was safest. And yet, upon a moment where he had to leave you on your own… Thats when it happened. The running killer snuck into the window you left open, crept up behind you, and slit your throat and— whole head off, really, followed by a barrage of stabs into the heart, to be sure you couldn’t have saved yourself.

It was such gore, he couldn’t keep thinking about it without losing an appetite for a week, before remembering some of his other officers vomiting at the sight — and frankly, he didn’t blame them, as he only just managed to keep his own lunch down that day.

Even while it was never his fault, he couldn’t help but constantly berate and belittle himself, just because he had walked out the room to check the front door was locked. Stupid Alec, he thought to himself even five years later; sat infant of his blank desk littered with faint coffee mug rings and reports unheededly piled at one side, you were dead, and he can’t wish hard enough they weren’t.

———☆☆☆———

He quickly straightened himself up as a knock was heard at his door, and constrained his expression to the usual irritated glare, as Miller anxiously poked her head in and mumbled, looking as if she had seen a ghost.

“…Someone is here to see you…”

He looked at her, puzzled for a few moments, before giving a small sighing waving her off;

“Tell them I’m busy—“

“--Urgently.”

He was caught off guard by her abrupt cut in of his own words, before sitting back in his chair and relenting with a long sigh;

"Fine, send them in."

What he wasn't expecting, was for you to walk in. looking absolutely untouched, and alive... head attached...

He froze in his seat, before uselessly sputtering out, almost fearfully;

"...You can't be... You-- I saw you, dead..."